the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
