I will die if light touches me.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
