Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
