i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
