Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
