my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
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dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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