U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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