Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
