So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
