and i looked up. we had an audience...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
did you just send me my own nude
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
