don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Michael Bay diarrhea
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
