is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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