I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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