Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
