i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
