Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?

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(603): Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background? http://tfl.nu/ypnh

Replies (76) Good night (4710) Bad night (668)
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(231): View more from Michigan

I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.

(906): View more from Michigan

so you're not coming in to work today?

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(231): I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops. (906): so you're not coming in to work today? http://tfl.nu/mm6u

Replies (13) Good night (1348) Bad night (4015)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.

(440): View more from Ohio

...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.

(513): View more from Ohio

That was a text you sent me last night.

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(513): I think I'd do Clint Eastwood. (440): ...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now. (513): That was a text you sent me last night. http://tfl.nu/tvw9

Replies (36) Good night (9976) Bad night (1045)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze

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(303): I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze http://tfl.nu/sp88

Replies (51) Good night (1033) Bad night (7540)
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(540): View more from Virginia

It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.

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(540): It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic. http://tfl.nu/37md

Replies (5) Good night (956) Bad night (2696)
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(512): View more from Texas

Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine

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(512): Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine http://tfl.nu/sllr

Replies (7) Good night (2199) Bad night (948)
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(309): View more from Illinois

We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?

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(309): We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come? http://tfl.nu/kmdd

Replies (11) Good night (3353) Bad night (659)
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(847): View more from Illinois

All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.

(773): View more from Illinois

that bad?

(847): View more from Illinois

u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.

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(847): All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die. (773): that bad? (847): u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a. http://tfl.nu/aht0

Replies (3) Good night (2751) Bad night (599)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.

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(870): Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic. http://tfl.nu/y3t4

Replies (9) Good night (1256) Bad night (569)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more

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(412): its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more http://tfl.nu/r5j0

Replies (3) Good night (1577) Bad night (518)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.

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(715): We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her. http://tfl.nu/sx8g

Replies (4) Good night (1034) Bad night (321)
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(310): View more from California

I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.

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(310): I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me. http://tfl.nu/btwi

Replies (3) Good night (315) Bad night (411)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?

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(440): Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers? http://tfl.nu/175a

Replies (2) Good night (957) Bad night (256)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room

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(403): I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room http://tfl.nu/v5e3

Replies (1) Good night (328) Bad night (451)
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(727): View more from Florida

Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed

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(727): Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed http://tfl.nu/f4j9

Replies (3) Good night (494) Bad night (146)

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