Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"

  (1-386): View more from Florida

  You're going home with him aren't you?

  (386): View more from Florida

  I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house

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  (386): Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!" (1-386): You're going home with him aren't you? (386): I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house http://tfl.nu/c9az
  Replies (12) Good night (1323) Bad night (2921)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.

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  (480): the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy. http://tfl.nu/p73q
  Replies (17) Good night (5605) Bad night (730)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.

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  (507): i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches. http://tfl.nu/cp2j
  Replies (14) Good night (6363) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"

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  (724): she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it" http://tfl.nu/sq67
  Replies (9) Good night (5758) Bad night (1309)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me

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  (651): I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me http://tfl.nu/s22y
  Replies (13) Good night (4515) Bad night (1492)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.

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  (810): Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there. http://tfl.nu/7hmv
  Replies (12) Good night (1425) Bad night (4432)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.

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  (704): the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond. http://tfl.nu/ueo3
  Replies (7) Good night (2271) Bad night (1029)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested

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  (720): You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested http://tfl.nu/xmgm
  Replies (5) Good night (3420) Bad night (999)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.

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  (802): Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants. http://tfl.nu/qi2o
  Replies (5) Good night (2082) Bad night (1210)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.

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  (732): She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot. http://tfl.nu/el8s
  Replies (6) Good night (2437) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.

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  (989): private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen. http://tfl.nu/gtzt
  Replies (3) Good night (1625) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.

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  (501): I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho. http://tfl.nu/d92o
  Replies (16) Good night (1456) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other

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  (614): Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other http://tfl.nu/gfjj
  Replies (2) Good night (899) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.

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  (479): Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals. http://tfl.nu/0t02
  Replies (2) Good night (597) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.

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  (720): I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks. http://tfl.nu/u2av
  Replies (3) Good night (672) Bad night (323)

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