Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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