We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Randomize
