So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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