He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
My ATM looks so different sober.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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