Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
