I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
