I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
