Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing