My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
