Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(971): View more from Oregon

I have two black x marks on my hands.

(503): View more from Oregon

Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'

(971): View more from Oregon

damnit I wish I could remember that.

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(971): I have two black x marks on my hands. (503): Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here' (971): damnit I wish I could remember that. http://tfl.nu/kz4a

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(308): View more from Nebraska

i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.

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(308): i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me. http://tfl.nu/ln0p

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(217): View more from Illinois

you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot

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(217): you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot http://tfl.nu/time

Replies (21) Good night (10754) Bad night (669) Order T-Shirt
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(512): View more from Texas

turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce

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(512): turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce http://tfl.nu/v1jk

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.

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(781): I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house. http://tfl.nu/8emi

Replies (13) Good night (5550) Bad night (1244)
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(705): View more from Ontario

She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.

(905): View more from Ontario

I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.

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(705): She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that. (905): I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory. http://tfl.nu/dnea

Replies (8) Good night (4605) Bad night (1076)
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(647): View more from Ontario

Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.

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(647): Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/k2zc

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(760): View more from California

He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?

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(760): He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite? http://tfl.nu/b780

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(205): View more from Alabama

I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.

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(205): I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend. http://tfl.nu/23o0

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK

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(412): THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK http://tfl.nu/h557

Replies (7) Good night (1987) Bad night (525) Order T-Shirt
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(714): View more from California

I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.

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(714): I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time. http://tfl.nu/xqih

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(847): View more from Illinois

it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

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(847): it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED http://tfl.nu/8bov

Replies (6) Good night (1899) Bad night (331) Order T-Shirt
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(916): View more from California

The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.

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(916): The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu. http://tfl.nu/i9o3

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(561): View more from Florida

I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you

(860): View more from Connecticut

I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.

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(561): I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you (860): I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this. http://tfl.nu/r7r6

Replies (5) Good night (1248) Bad night (353)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.

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(902): I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability. http://tfl.nu/xk8u

Replies (3) Good night (276) Bad night (121) Order T-Shirt

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