She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
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