I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
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she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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