last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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