Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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