Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I look better un-naked...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
