I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
