Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
