Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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