Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
