My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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