dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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