so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize