why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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