"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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