your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
