the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
