oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
