I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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