She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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