Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
