just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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