tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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