Sponge bath it is.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
