Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
