Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.

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(917): View more from New York City

i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.

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(805): View more from California

im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(425): View more from Washington

Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.

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(708): View more from Illinois

nutella sex= disaster

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(813): View more from Florida

It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.

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(925): View more from California

...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.

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