Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
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Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
nutella sex= disaster
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
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And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.