Texts From Last Night

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  (720): View more from Colorado

  dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.

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  (720): dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head. http://tfl.nu/xkz0
  Replies (91) Good night (2780) Bad night (1032)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes

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  (512): And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes http://tfl.nu/4ipy
  Replies (24) Good night (5278) Bad night (1479)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  hows the party?

  (816): View more from Missouri

  ists fjcssing insceredle

  (913): View more from Kansas

  be there in 10

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  (913): hows the party? (816): ists fjcssing insceredle (913): be there in 10 http://tfl.nu/innz
  Replies (61) Good night (27008) Bad night (1358)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.

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  (201): I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it. http://tfl.nu/v1ti
  Replies (9) Good night (977) Bad night (2950)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.

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  (217): it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex. http://tfl.nu/bdfn
  Replies (5) Good night (4696) Bad night (777)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.

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  (910): He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel. http://tfl.nu/qsvc
  Replies (3) Good night (2690) Bad night (965)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"

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  (623): You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!" http://tfl.nu/z3ws
  Replies (10) Good night (3976) Bad night (813)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.

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  (773): Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys. http://tfl.nu/y8cg
  Replies (2) Good night (2116) Bad night (510)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  peace be with you.

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  (860): you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice (1-860): peace be with you. http://tfl.nu/ffop
  Replies (3) Good night (2105) Bad night (486)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.

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  (262): Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning. http://tfl.nu/3fkk
  Replies (5) Good night (1539) Bad night (837)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.

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  (716): Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking. http://tfl.nu/rcur
  Replies (2) Good night (373) Bad night (544)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about

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  (781): I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about http://tfl.nu/ocbn
  Replies (4) Good night (349) Bad night (583)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.

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  (604): You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement. http://tfl.nu/pi1i
  Replies (2) Good night (965) Bad night (254)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.

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  (602): Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy. http://tfl.nu/ej69
  Replies (1) Good night (463) Bad night (336)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.

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  (832): I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket. http://tfl.nu/lg7t
  Replies (2) Good night (270) Bad night (472)

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