It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
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Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
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That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself