last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
That accounts for only three of the penises
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
