The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
