Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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