she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
