She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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