Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
