does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
