i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
