He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
